{"id":11519,"date":"2021-06-01T15:18:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-01T15:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.foresters.com\/?p=11519"},"modified":"2021-07-29T20:16:34","modified_gmt":"2021-07-29T20:16:34","slug":"build-the-family-you-need","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.foresters.com\/en-gb\/family-en-gb\/build-the-family-you-need\/","title":{"rendered":"Build the family you need"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Strong relationships with friends, parents, siblings or a significant other make us feel safe, happy and healthy. In fact, Psychology Today says that satisfying relationships influence our long-term health as much as getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods and not smoking1<\/sup>. Good relationships are associated with better health and happiness, and even a longer life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, some people struggle to have healthy relationships with close family members, and the negativity generated by interactions with these relatives can be detrimental to their emotional well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Occasional struggles within families are normal \u2014 all families experience bouts of bickering and discord \u2014 but if someone is experiencing regular abuse in the form of passive-aggressive actions, insults, cruelty and even physical abuse, experts encourage victims to consider walking away from the toxicity<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to find the family you need<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not easy to leave a situation you know, even if it\u2019s a difficult one. The unknown can be frightening, and damage inflicted by toxic relationships can make you wonder if you\u2019ll ever find a healthy environment in which you can thrive. You might even wonder if you\u2019re worthy of anything better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you are<\/em>. And here are steps you can take to help build a supportive, loving community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Think about your values<\/strong>. You\u2019ve experienced what you don\u2019t want in a family group, so what do<\/em> you want from one? Think about what\u2019s important to you and what you need to receive from those around you in order to grow and flourish, and to feel safe and loved. Keeping this in mind as you reach out to friends and other family members will ensure that you\u2019re always striving for the best situations possible and help you avoid slipping back into negative relationships.<\/li>
  2. Reach out<\/strong>. Unless you\u2019re extremely lucky, a new family group isn\u2019t going to show up on your doorstep and present itself to you. Reach out to friends and safe family members and slowly start to establish a new circle. Regularly keep in touch and slowly get used to the fact that there are people that you can rely on for company and comfort.<\/li>
  3. Recognise it won\u2019t always be easy<\/strong>. It\u2019s going to feel strange to disconnect from the family that has hurt you, and it may be difficult to make any new group feel \u201cright\u201d for a while. Try to remember that it will take time, and holidays and special days are going to be a little extra difficult while you\u2019re in this transition stage. Try to create new traditions, even if you\u2019re alone on some of those special days, and trust that it will be worth it in the end.<\/li>
  4. Tell the people in your life that you value them<\/strong>. It can be difficult if this isn\u2019t something that was ever shown to you, but letting people know that they are important to you is a wonderful way to strengthen the bonds of friendship. Healthy families do this all the time, so even if it feels uncomfortable to you, give it a try!<\/li>
  5. Lose the guilt<\/strong>. As hard as it may be, and despite what anyone says, you have the right to disengage from unhealthy situations and unhealthy relationships. You have the right to be happy and healthy and to find people that support you. Never feel guilty for doing what\u2019s right for your own mental and physical health.<\/li>
  6. Take care of yourself<\/strong>. Speak to a doctor or mental health professional if you\u2019re struggling<\/a>. You can also try journaling<\/a>, yoga<\/a> or breathing exercises and grounding techniques<\/a> to help deal with anxiety. This is a big life change, and it may take some work to settle into your new reality. Give it time!<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Remember, if you\u2019re in a family situation where violence, abuse or harassment is involved, it\u2019s important to seek help as soon as you\u2019re safely able to. If it\u2019s an emergency, call 999 UK. Otherwise these resources may be of help to you or someone you know:

    In the United Kingdom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n